| T H E A R T P A R T Y |
| a b o u t ! ~ a r t ! ~ i s s u e s ! ~ p r o p a g a n d a ! ~ j o i n ! ~ e v e n t s ! ~ c o n t a c t ! |
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MOTION THOUGHTS
Saturday, January 20, 2007birdsown the bugs and worms and the treesserve as their towers: they watch over our parks while bums sleep and they keep clear of cats and children and birds own the powerlines we're too scared to climb; they perch in ropes across sunset reds and clutch our lights, our heat, our wires, vibrating against our electric hums and birds own outer space: they shoot through a stratosphere like bullets through a composition notebook; they comprise the color of your average nebula, gathering around the black hole, guarding the open gate
Comments:
this is good. i would put a comma after "children" though... unless you like it when people have to those lines a couple of times.
the first time, i read it wrong. the second time, i read it right. and i like it a lot. a whole lot.
it comes out sounding more like lyrics to me, or it at least needs to be spoken out loud so the rhythm is grooovy. I like it too.
this is beautiful. i agree with morgan that it does have many song-like qualities. when i read it, i naturally wanted to sing it instead. how appropriate for a piece about birds. i love how you link the stanzas together. the third stanza caught me off-guard.
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 posted by  : 9:02 AM, January 26, 2007<< Home
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